Resources

Resources For Men:

While Sole Parents' Union is a non-gender specific organisation, we do understand that sole fathers can feel more isolated. Men often have problems accessing support networks, or asking for help. For this reason we have included a page on support and tips for men.

We will continue to build on this page based on any feedback we get on what you might like to see or need help with.

This may be the first time you have to parent completely alone. And that can be frightening. Remember, just about everybody is scared initially, and you learn as you go along. Children can be very forgiving if they see you are really trying.

You are now the one that has to remember and organise all those special events like birthdays, christmas, cultural or religious celebrations. It makes it easier if you write down special dates in a diary. Or put them in your mobile phone and set the alarm to remind you a week ahead of time. That gives you a chance to buy presents, organise parties, etc.

It might be painful for you to continue 'family' traditions, but remember kids like continuity, and they might want to continue to celebrate the way they always have. If not you can start some traditions of your own. Ask them what they'd like to do and how they'd like to celebrate.

Then there are the every day things you have to remember. School activities, after school activities, sports games and training, dancing, music, etc. If you have more than one child then it's even harder. Write a weekly schedule and keep it on the fridge. That way the kids can refer to it and remember where they should be as well.

If you have pre-school age children, playgroups are not just for mothers. Dads are always welcome to bring their kids along. Playgroups not only provide an outlet for young children to play and socialise, but they are a great way for parents to meet other people and to talk about parenting issues. Go to the website to find the playgroup nearest you.

If your kids are a bit older, then get involved with their school activities. Schools are always crying out for help - with the P&C or school committee, helping out on excursions, or with reading or other classroom activities. Some schools still have canteens run by parents. Your kids, especially in infants and primary school, like to see you there as well.

For older kids there are also sports teams you can help with. If you don't think you're up to being a coach, then managers are always in demand! Anybody in the sporting association will be more than happy to give you ideas on how you can help.

And of course - don't forget about you. Many men find it difficult to talk about "things" with anybody. It's much easier if you have something elsel to concentrate on, some work or other activity, and the talk then just comes. Men's Sheds are a great way to meet other men, to do "bloke things" like woodworking, and maybe have a chat while you're there. See if there's one near you.